I’ve come across this quote often, and it wasn’t until I was on my own personal journey to be a better version of myself, and be true to myself that this quote started to make so much more sense. It’s a deep statement, but the concept is simple.
I’m responsible for my life, how I respond to it, and what I do with it. Because guess what, pain will happen, and it will continue to happen. We will experience heartbreak, frustrations, disappointments, and many other pains, but we choose whether or not we suffer.
So wondering if you are suffering or not? Here are a few signs:
We ignore, disregard, or deny the pain. We don’t deal with it, so we continue to repeat the same negative habits.
We define ourselves by our pains. So you make your pain your story, it becomes your identity and doesn’t leave any room for you to be happy, grow, or learn.
We associate everything & everyone to that pain. So, you filter every situation, through the filter of the pain, leading you to misread opportunities, relationships, and life.
You are not responsible for the people who have harmed you, caused you pain, or angered you. However, you are responsible for your happiness, for the rest of your life, and for your choice to suffer or not. And sometimes, we can’t do it on our own, sometimes we have fallen so deep into our suffering that it’s hard to see the light.
So what steps can you take to choose happiness, living, and loving yourself over suffering?
Seek Counseling. You had to know that, therapy was going to be the number one thing on my list. The beauty of therapy is it helps you process your emotions, work through those traumas, learn to cope, and develop a plan to move forward in a healthy and hopeful manner.
Lean on your tribe for support. Utilize those around you that love you, to talk through your pains and emotions and offer loving and health support and encouragement.
If you have healthy coping skills use them until you can utilize steps 1 & 2. Coping skills can be a great way to help you manage your emotions, and not allow those pains, to consume you. Journaling is an amazing coping mechanism that allows you to write out your feelings and reflect on your moods and thoughts.
If you learn how to power through the pain now, when it happens again, you will be equipped with the necessary skills to deal with the pain and move forward without carrying it with you. Listen, you deserve to live a life filled with happiness and peace, and while we are very clear that PAIN WILL HAPPEN, we also know that SUFFERING DOESN’T HAVE TO.
Written by:
Shanta Jackson